by Jarle Kvale
When folks are sellin’ horses,
they’ve been known to lie and cheat
And the unsuspecting buyer’s
easily duped by their deceit—
But I’ve set some rules for buyin’
to prevent you actin’ rash,
And I’ll share ’em with you freely,
though I’m usually wantin’ cash.
Don’t ever buy for color—
9 of 10 times you’ll get stuck—
Avoid a horse that’s coughing—
never buy a horse named “Buck”—
I wouldn’t take a crazy one
whose eyes resemble bugs—
Be wary of those deadheads—
it might only be the drugs.
Just say “no” to former racers—
turning left is all they know—
You’ll forever ride in circles
while you try to teach them ‘whoa’.
If a horse is billed as gentle
and the type to suit a kid—
Best bring along a seatbelt—
wear a helmet on your lid—
And if they claim the horse is green
and merely needs some work,
You’ve the right to be a skeptic
while the owner hides his smirk.
Course always buy from strangers—
don’t react in disbelief—
If a closer look upon your friends
reveals a common thief.
And stay away from ring sales,
though the deal may seem compellin’—
The situation’s risky—
might be me who’s down there sellin’.
© 2015, Jarle Kvale, used with permission
North Dakota horseman Jarle Kvale is the host of the popular Back at the Ranch radio show. The weekly show spins good cowboy poetry and Western music. Present and past shows are available on demand.
Jarle Kvale includes “Buyer Beware” on his recent CD, Custom Made. The CD includes 14 original poems, mostly humorous, delivered in his engaging, understated style.
This photo, courtesy of Jarle Kvale, is of “Beau.”